So listen, I have been a member of the “be a better you” club officially since 2009, but I had a foot in the door for many years before that. It just wasn’t until 2009 that I finally put together all the components of betterment for total self-improvement. Mental. Physical. Emotional.
It was coincidentally January of 2009 when I took control of the physical betterment (the biggest out-of-whack component), but I never thought of it as a New Year’s Resolution. In fact, I’ve never been a part of that club. Resolutions never made much sense to me actually.
The way I had always thought of New Year’s Resolutions was like the first definition above: a firm decision to do or not do something…on the first of the year. And it was that “firm” aspect that always deterred me. It felt inflexible and therefore unattainable. And I don’t like setting myself up for failure.
But, I’ve always been a problem solver. I attribute it initially to being the middle child. Lots of problems need resolutions and as the middle child you seemingly find yourself in the middle of…everything. So rather than be someone who “picked sides”, I always preferred to work towards a solution, one focused step at a time. This is probably why I found myself so attracted to solution-focused therapy as an undergraduate psychology major, and why I consider myself today to hold a solution-focused philosophy in all of my counsel.
Now the thing about solving problems, especially big ones, is that you have to be prepared for the undertaking. And most of the time, it takes a lot more preparation than we think. And we’re usually pretty terrible at setting aside the prep time. Which, I think, is why New Year’s Resolutions have always held so much weight.
We get off routine in basically every area of our lives throughout the holidays. Whether on purpose or not, things are not the way they usually are. And then we resolve to fix it all and more once that first Monday of the new year hits. Because things will be calmer, easier, more focused, and less stressful.
It’s that last part that I actually think is really important. It is true that the first week of January is often calmer, easier, more focused, and less stressful. There are no more social gatherings, excessive amounts of food, time off, etc. There is time to put towards refocusing. But that’s just it, it does take time to refocus, not just a decision to “do” it. We need to set aside time to plan how we want to refocus, set goals, and determine ways in which we will achieve those goals. Whether in health, finances, career, etc. – we can’t just decide and watch everything fall into place. We have to figure out how to break it all down into bite-sized, manageable, digestible chunks that both lead us in the right direction and push us past our own barriers.
So that’s exactly how I will be spending my first week of 2016, and I want you to do the same.
Let’s not pretend that all the bad habits we’ve acquired or revisited in the past couple of months are suddenly going to disappear on Monday, January 4th.
Let’s admit that we will probably still have a few ‘treats’ around, spend a little more money than we should (I mean, those sales), and be a little less than 100% committed at work.
Let’s instead promise ourselves that we’ll spend the first week of 2016 breaking it all down. The whats, the whys, and especially the how-tos.
The new year is not about becoming a new you. It’s about taking the time to refresh, renew, and reboot the current you. You might not be where you want to be on January 1st, but you did a lot of good in this past year too – don’t discount all of your previous hard work. And might I add, as soon as you stop wanting to *be better* with the start of each year, you’ve gotten stagnant, complacent, and down-right boring. Nobody wants that, especially not you. So, the new year is about becoming a better you.
So, let’s resign from these New Year’s Resolutions, shall we? And instead let’s resign (double meanings are fun, right?) to the fact that the new year comes whether you are ready or not. So really, it’s the best time to restart your *be better* crusade, don’t you think? And the great thing is that every little bit of help, support, and guidance goes a crazy long way right now. Because we’re starting fresh, waking up with hope and possibility for the new year. We have clearer thoughts of what we can accomplish in the next 366 (leap year!!) days, and we can figure out the best ways to achieve everything that we’re dreaming of. All it takes is some preparation and conversation to move you in the direction of your dreams (and you know, you’re supposed to go confidently in the direction of your dreams, after all).
Look, I fully understand how important the first week of the new year can be for setting yourself up for all the other 359 remaining days. I don’t take it lightly, and neither should you. So let’s work together so you can truly set yourself up for a year of progress (not perfection), growth, and betterment. For the entire first week of January, I am offering free consultations on whatever you want to focus on for the next year. Yup, just you and me talking – in person, on the phone, or via Skype – about whatever you want. We will work it out and work it through for as long as you need. So when January 8th rolls around, you’ll know just what steps you need to take to start making progress on your 2016 goals.
